Marines, Dating Advice, and Cousin Haley's Party Grand Rapids, Michigan Days 23-31 - June 25-July 3, 2002  Back   |   Next

Meeting a Fellow Marine We have dinner with the Richard's at the Cascade Country Club. Mr. Richard was a Marine during WWII. Luckily he got out of the Corps before they would have sent him to the Chosin Reservoir during the Korean War. We talk about our days in the Corps as we feast. His wife, Jean, tells me that they met when he was in his dress blues and they fell in love through letter writing. Then we talk more about the Marines, and Uncle Charlie says that the Air Force is better. I tell him that one Marine is worth ten fly boys. Then, before I know it, Uncle Charlie changes the subject to Golf. My mind wanders...    Do I dare tell Uncle Charlie that golf was invented on Middle-Earth in the land of the Shire by a hobbit named "Bullroarer" Took? He was a very large hobbit who once fought at the Battle of Green Fields against the goblins of Mount Gram. He bludgeoned the goblin king Golfimbul's head so hard it went sailing over the battlefield and into a hole. The battle was won, and the game of golf was invented, all in one day.    Hmmm ...I don't think so. And yes, I am now reading Tolkien's The Hobbit; again for the sixth time in this lifetime. Dreams and Dating Advice from Observations at a Gym I also go to Power House Gym in Cascade. My cousin Matt Bueche hooked me up with some sessions at the gym so I can stay in shape during my stay in Grand Rapids. So I am at the gym. I spend too much time on the elliptical machine where I climb, climb, climb, and do what I like to think of as my best thinking, yet I can't help but overhear people at the gym: Two gym rats psychoanalyze their dreams while they spot each other. One says he had such a weird dream, "It's like a nightmare, man." He says this as he grunts and pumps out a couple of v-bar triceps extensions. Then he continues after he drops the weight with a clang, "I dreamt I sold my bike [motorcycle]. Yeah," he says, "I sold it like I wanted to for $25,000, but to my mother..." (hmmm... ) "...but the scary part is that I bought an IKEA Sportage to replace it." Then he awoke startled and he had to check to make sure his bike was still in the garage before he could rest easy. On another day I can't help but notice a man approach a woman in the gym. Now, for those of you who don't know, gyms are likened to meat markets and watering holes. People often come to socialize, stare at mirrors, and carouse, just as often as some come to work out. This guy decided to approach a woman who was working out. She had just finished a set of dumbbell bicep curls when he decides to ask her for some advice. I think it is totally cool to ask somebody for advice. It shows that you trust a stranger's wisdom and knowledge. Asking advice isn't a bad way to start a conversation. The great yellow manual of interpersonal relations, Dating for Dummies even advises those seeking potential dates to use advise-asking as an icebreaker. Presumably, this will establish an immediate bond, as the asker would show that he is willing to admit his ignorance, and not above asking a woman for advice. Here, a reversal of power ensues. The woman becomes the knight-in-shining-armor rescuer and the man becomes the rescuee. The woman rescues the man from his ignorance, and the man, ever grateful for whatever advice he has been given, then has an opportunity to get digits, take her out to dinner, etc., so on and so forth. So what does this dude do? My friends and fellow brothers-in-singleness, please don't do what he does... He immediately sets himself apart by saying, "Well, this is probably a guy thing, but..." The he asks her advice on how to do laundry and get sweat stains out of his shirt. After a brief conversation concerning detergent and cold water, one which fizzles out like a crop duster without enough gas to make it past the airfield's wind sock, the man returns to the mirror he came from and resumes his workout. Michael, Vicki, and Matt Haley's Graduation Party Today we go up the river to my other cousin's house, where Michael and Vicki are throwing a celebration for Haley who has graduated from high school. I arrive early to help set up, blow up balloons, and make Sangria. After sundown my cousins Derek and Max launch their fireworks. Uncle Charlie yells above the volleys of fire and smoke for the music to be turned up. We listen to military band music as the night lights up. Then Mr. Richards and I get up and sing the Marine's Hymn.