Happiness is a Vampire

Every day I discover other worlds so unlike the one I once called home.  The possibilities seem boundless.  I even fantasize about coming to America to become a Wal Mart door greeter or an assistant manager at McDonald’s.  If I work hard for a couple years and save money, then I could return to paradise and buy a home and still have enough left over to start a business.

Sometimes when I hang out with other expats we cannot stop saying, “I can’t believe this,” and we pinch ourselves to see if we are in a dream.  It is as if we all had met Morpheus in our pre-expat lives and took the red pill.  We tell ourselves this cannot really be happening.  We have it too good here.  And if China becomes untenable we can always relocate to Vietnam or Thailand or Bali or any other country where good old fashioned pioneer spirit and a liberal arts education are valuable commodities.

As soon as I stopped pursuing happiness, it came to me.  Now I flee happiness because I know it is too good to be true.  It cannot last.  Happiness is a vampire that will suck you dry leaving you shriveled like a desiccated husk in a spider’s web.  That is why it is better to fly from happiness, string it along, let her have a taste, and then run away so you can regain your strength for the next round. I know this cannot last so I read American newspapers and Stephen King stories to mentally rehearse for day when there is nowhere to run.

They say China brings out your inner entrepreneur.  It’s true.  Maybe one day I will go into the crucifix business.  I will manufacture high-quality cadmium free crucifixes and export them to vampire-plagued America.